Most of us walk through life believing we see reality clearly. But in psychological terms, we are looking through our own set of lenses. In schema therapy, we call these lenses schemas. Schemas are deeply held patterns of belief about ourselves, others and the world. They are not random thoughts. They are emotional-cognitive templates formed early in life — often in response to unmet needs, repeated experiences, or relational environments. A child who repeatedly experiences c

Loneliness is a universal experience, familiar to almost everyone. Review by Mansfield et al. (2021) suggests it can be roughly divided into three types: - Social loneliness – feeling a lack of social connections. - Emotional loneliness – feeling the absence of close, meaningful relationships, even when surrounded by people. - Existential loneliness – a deeper sense of separation from others and the world as a whole. In my practice, I rarely see people who objectively have no

There’s a popular coaching tool called the Wheel of Life — where we identify several key life areas and rate our level of satisfaction with each on a scale from 0 to 10 (see the first picture). I’ve been experimenting with this technique, looking for a way to visualise the relationships between these areas and the factors influencing them. This is what I came up with (the second picture). Do you think this could be useful? All data is made up; visualised with Flourish.

One of the most important goals of therapy is to help clients be kinder to themselves. We all have beliefs that shape our decisions, but sometimes, these same beliefs trap us in a cycle of self-attack. This negative self-talk - our inner critic - targets the most vulnerable parts of our personality: ❌ "I am worthless." ❌ "I can’t fit in." ❌ "No one can love me." Imagine a child constantly hearing these words from a harsh monster. Wouldn’t you want to protect them? The same go

Mornings can be a tough time for any family, but they can be particularly challenging for children with ADHD. It’s not uncommon for these kids to wake up feeling grumpy, defiant, or simply out of sorts, which can make getting them to take their medication—and start their day—an uphill battle. The irony is that the very medication they resist can help them become more cooperative and focused, but getting to that point can feel like an impossible task. The key to smoother morni

While people with ADHD are often seen as easy-going and extravert, it's not uncommon for them to face significant communication challenges. Let's see why children and adults with ADHD might struggle more with social communication. 1. Inattention and Listening Skills Inattention makes it hard for children with ADHD to focus during conversations, leading to missed cues and a lack of understanding of what was said. This can result in responses that are off-topic or unrelated, ma

Let’s imagine a scenario: your child wants another sweet treat, but you know they’ve already had enough. You gently say no—then BAM! They start screaming, pushing, throwing things, and so on. This situation is all too common with children diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, cPTSD, FASD, and other conditions. Many parents would be happy to suggest alternatives or negotiate if the child spoke politely. However, when the behaviour turns aggressive, it becomes incredibly challenging becaus

Have you ever experienced this? You spend the whole day looking forward to the evening, that quiet time when you can finally get things done. But then evening comes, and your child is bouncing off the walls, refusing to settle down. Hours go by, and still, there’s no sign of sleep. The level of frustration and despair this can cause is overwhelming. There are several strategies that might help: Bedtime routines should start several hours before bed. If you want your child to

A parent of an explosive child often finds themselves caught between multiple fires. On one hand, the child may behave terribly—screaming,