A Common Challenge for Parents of Children with ADHD: Getting Them to Sleep

Have you ever experienced this? You spend the whole day looking forward to the evening, that quiet time when you can finally get things done. But then evening comes, and your child is bouncing off the walls, refusing to settle down. Hours go by, and still, there’s no sign of sleep.

The level of frustration and despair this can cause is overwhelming.

There are several strategies that might help:

1. Bedtime routines should start several hours before bed. If you want your child to be asleep by 7 PM, you need to begin the routine 2-3 hours beforehand. These routines can include anything you typically do in the evening—dinner, bath time, reading a book, etc. In other words, bedtime doesn’t begin when your child gets into bed. The entire process leading up to that moment should prepare your child for bed and sleep.

2. Structure activities so that excitement gradually decreases. The order of activities in the hours leading up to bed should help reduce stimulation progressively. Lights should be dimmed with each activity, and the environment should become quieter and more calming. 

For a child to fall asleep quickly when they finally get into bed, it’s essential that the routine remains consistent over time. Essentially, if you start the bedtime process at 8 PM but your child is still jumping around for three more hours, then the real bedtime routine has become the jumping around.

So let’s say you want your child to be asleep by 8 PM. Plan your evening starting from 5-6 PM. This could include watching a cartoon, then having dinner, followed by a bath, reading a book, having a quiet conversation, and finally, turning off the lights and staying silent. Again, with each activity, reduce the light and noise around them.

However, this process might not work perfectly right away. If your child has been staying up until 11 PM, it might be better to start with a routine that helps them fall asleep by 11 PM but ensures that the process of falling asleep only takes about 10 minutes. This means beginning your evening routine at 8 PM (like in the example above—cartoon, dinner, bath, book, lights off etc.). Gradually, you can shift everything to an earlier time.

Some techniques that could help calm your child when they’re in bed include using weighted blankets, which can be soothing for some children. Sensory activities, like scratching their back or giving them a deep massage where you gently squeeze their hands and feet and then move down the body, can also be beneficial. 

How do your children settle down for bed? Tell me about your challenges.